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Another contributor to the book points out that it’s sometimes useful to look upon your impairment, especially if it includes something limiting, as being another dominant in your life, if you are sub, as it’s part of your sexual dynamic.

Co-editor of this book, Angela Stassinopoulos, recognised that this phenomenon is a great leap and she felt ‘the shock of the new’ when she personally played with some of the disabled individuals herself.

Susie ———- ———- ———- ———- ———- ———- ———- ———- ———- ———- ———- ———- —- Dear Susie, Yes, I have gathered some ideas from deaf girlfriends and hope this will help. I don’t know how much support you have had for dealing it, but things can make it less troublesome.

If you take a low dose of Fluoroxetine to help you chill – it decreases the stress hormones and helps you relax and sleep. They may suggest something like you accept it into your life as a family member.

That way you can still see each other’s expressions etc. Get into the habit of discussing sex when you are relaxing together, and by texts etc., swapping desires and fantasies.

You could have fun creating physical signs (like pinching an elbow) you can use in bed that say things like ‘I love you‘, ‘I am about to come! Once you get used to communicating openly about sex, you will be delighted in where life leads you!

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So far, I have only had sex with my man in the daytime, as I fear sex in the dark in bed without my hearing aids in.Also, I am finding my tinnitus really distracting while having sex, I don’t know why.Do you have any ideas on ways to put my fears and bothers to rest?Like back in the old days before the 2nd world war, Alexander Woollcott wrote ‘Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.’!By Tuppy Owens Outsiders is a FREE social, peer support and dating club, run by and for socially and physically disabled people.

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